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Visits with their chapter, next we rape queensbury depicted channel about cats, before you start: 1. Cats hate water about as much as you hate getting your face torn to shreds by frantic cat claws. 2. Cats do not care whether you survive or not. They have little or no respect for human life general. A cat without any hesitation or remorse, tear your eyeballs out, or remove all the skin off your body. 3. Although you have the advantage of size, the little WILL use any dirty tricks he can think of, should you. 4. Do not expect to outsmart your little feline friend, as it is a well known fact that any cat is smarter than any person who is dumb enough to try to bathe one. now you should be somewhat prepared for the task that lies ahead, although, you should be aware that no can ever really be prepared for the ultimate test of manhood, catbathing. STEP 1 Take your cat under your arm, nonchalantly, like it was just to pat him a little, make sure that the cat has no idea of your foul intentions, you can control this by putting your ear next to the cat's throat and making sure that the the cat shakes kinda like the strange banana you found mom's bedroom. If there is a soft purrrrring sound, you are safe. If the cat just stares at you with a suspicious look... DROP THE STUPID THING AND RUN! STEP 2 Wait a couple of hours, until the animal is sound asleep, and go for a surprise attack. Sit down next to him and start talking to him, patting him carefully on the tummy Keep this up until the cat has started purrrrring. Put your sole to it, or the cat know that foul play is involved. Remember the cat has nine lives to spend, while you have but one. If you have to spend the next two days assuring your wife that you her just as much as the cat, you know you did a good job. STEP 3 Redecorate the bath to make it look like a heaven, cats have instinct, you Even a cat that has never seen the inside of a bath instinctively know what is going on when you take him into a bathroom. This is known as predestinate water syndrome and has also been observed on young human specimen. Take the cat your hands, and start running for the bathroom. You should hire proffesionals to open close the doors for you, or you fail miserably. Navy SEALs should be a good help here. Try opening a door with a rabid your hands, and you'll what is meant. STEP 4 a) Try to throw cat into bathtub. b) Remove cat from scalp. c) Consider getting a new cat. d) Push cat into tub. e) Go a doctor to stop bleeding from hands and face. f) Consider getting a new cat. g) Put duct tape on cat's claws. h) Get friend to hold cat while pouring water on him. i) Remove duct tape from inner ear, and remove cat from friends' reproductive organs. j) Consider getting a new cat. k) Tie cat's legs together with dental floss threads, get friend to help holding the cat down while soaping him up. l) Remove Dental floss from anal opening, remove slippery cat from friends face m) Consider getting a new cat. n) Get four Navy SEALs to help hold cat's paws, while you try to dry him with a towel. o) Pay for Navy SEALs' bills from the plastic surgeon p) Consider getting a new cat. q) Open door to let cat go lick himself dry. r) Go a